Lent 2020 – Day 12

When I got the most unbearable neck pain in my entire life on a Friday night, I knocked on my parents’ bedroom door at 2AM.

I don’t know why I expected rebuke and questioning when I knocked on their door. But I was filled with fear as I approached their door – fear of them judging and saying I was overreacting, fear that my neck was seriously hurt and I had to go to the hospital which would be a major inconvenience for them, fear that I brought this situation upon myself, like I deserved this pain.

Within minutes of me telling them my neck really hurts, my parents surrounded me. They examined my neck, and told me I had a bump on my neck.

I broke down. Lumps of anything on our body is never a good sign.

As I couldn’t stop crying – I couldn’t even lift my hand to wipe my tears, my dad laid his entire palm over my forehead. Somehow, that touch was what I needed to feel better.

Today, I’m reminded that God is a gentle soul.

When I’m hurt and expecting Him to judge me and tell me ‘I told you so’, He just lets me cry it out, and lays His palm on my forehead, anointing me with His love.

As He tends to our wounds, He doesn’t prod or poke at the trauma – He sees it all, and He lets it heal. He knows it’ll get better with time. He never leaves our side as we wait for us to become whole again.

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