Lent 2020 – Day 17

This past week has been rough on my body. In the many attempts to ‘live a normal life’ as per the doctors have suggested, my body has consistently refused to listen to that prescription.

I still gotta live, so I’m still living, but I’m also pissed. What is a normal life without a normal health? Everyone smiles and tells me to exercise, eat healthy and be grateful.

I hate that I wanted to enjoy a delicious seafood dinner, but I ended up exiting early because my upper abdomen started acting up, and crying in a corner of a park because I couldn’t enjoy this life. I hate that I am constipated for 2-3 days, causing headaches and bloatedness. I hate that it’s really hard to breathe sometimes, or stay awake when I need to, or control my mood swings.

As defeatist thoughts swirl all around my head, I think today’s a good day to finally post this prayer. I’ve kept it on the bench for a while.

I love that God isn’t just a metaphorical, intellectually, conceptual kind of god; He’s a tangible God who created the world out of words, and He gave us the beauty of touch.

And as much as I’d love to have Jesus appear in the flesh right now and give me a good bear hug to heal my physical body, Jesus himself said that He left us with something much better: His Spirit.

And who is to say the Holy Spirit isn’t fond of protective, healing, engulfing hugs for the soul?

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